Year of Firsts

I was warned by books, counselors and friends about the year of first 

But in no way can anyone begin to understand what that means until they have experienced it themselves. 

My year of firsts began with Katie’s 10th bday, her first with out Lisa 

Michael’s 17th bday 

Then there was the first Easter and the pictures at the Capital both without Michael or Lisa 

First Mother’s day without her, and my first hospitalization due to my MS. 

Then our 18th anniversary of being a couple on 6/8 – that one was especially difficult 

Our first family vacation and to NYC no less with out lisa, and our first Broadway Shows 

The kids first trip to the Cape without her 

The first time seeing my mother and reconciling in 17 years 

David’s 12th bday – his golden bday on 8/12 without Lisa 

Then came my bday and what would have been her 40th bday and then our 16th anniversary of our holy union 

My first major public speaking event the day after our anniversary – and meeting Jamie Lee Curtis 

The first Halloween 

Our first Thanksgiving  

followed by Danielle’s 14th bday 

Our first  Christmas 

The first end of year sledding event and ringing in the New Years 

Now here we are at Valentines day, the first and almost the last of firsts 

Which ends in 4 or 5 days however you count it.. I say 2/18, the doctor’s officially say 2/19 either way she never woke up and the kids and my year of first comes to a close and how I wish we could wake up from this horrible nightmare, but we can’t it is real and I know I’ll never stop thinking of her – even our Michael asked would I get re-married, and I told him, I don’t know how I could, I loved your mom too much that I can’t imagine meeting anyone who would fill her shoes, he – even with his delays – knew what I meant.   

One thought on “Year of Firsts

  1. Each event must have been such a mix of feelings. I’m coming up on one of those 1st anniversaries myself and although it wasn’t as traumatic, still I think about the things my daughter has missed.

    Hugs – see you soon.

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