beauty and elegance

watching ellen like I have since day one, season one – always tivo’d she showed her wedding footage today – what beauty and elegance and it transported me back –

back to that day in October 1991 when lisa and i stood before God on our holy union –

Uncle Kelly and Cyndi our best man and maid of honor – surrounded by marilyn, gary, eric, trace, matt, cathy-

in pink and blue – lisa even got me in a skirt for it.  we didn’t nearly have the money that ellen would have – it cost us a total of $500 and it took all our savings but it was everything to us.  we drank LeBanc DeBlanc -a wine we had found when we had traveled to California to visit Sue and Tim (in the days before children)Had pink and blue balloons, we wrote our vows and Don Magill talked about me being bold and plaid and lisa  being pink and pastel – how right he is.  He got to know us through couples counseling.  we were soul mates and I could see that same look in ellen’s eye as she looked into portia’s.  so why is marriage equality so scary to”others”?  Marilyn sang “If” by Bread for us – even changing the second verse to say “when a woman” of “a man” I can still hear her voice.  If I close my eyes, I am there on that beautifully October day surrounded by those that supported us in those early years – and still do today – and knew we were the real deal – and we were –

a single tear slides down now for happiness that I had my soul mate – some never do I believe – some are content being alone, others for circumstance or other reasons feel trapped with the next best.  not lisa and i – she was my everything and still is.  The tattoo I got on our engagement anniversary has our holy union date on it – so along with her name, I have our day before God burned into my flesh – with our children’s names.  it’s my way of being counted, the government may mark her death certificate that she died “single” never married,

but God and she and I – knew that is not the case – we were soul mates – and I was so blessed to have a saint in my life for 18 years.  God Bless Sweetie


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