762 days

fear surrounds those days, what if there is no acceptance

what if there is more homophobic comments or that I have lost my faith

some things have taken much longer than I would have thought to overcome

this was the second biggest hurdle I had

but in those many, many days I was denying a part of our existence

how we agreed to raise the kids, denying my own conversion

so anxious I couldn’t sleep last night 

in an unconscious attempt to sabotage myself from succeeding

no one to blame but myself

so I had to force myself to get dressed to face some of my last demons

I still have many questions about our faith and

how to reconcile our love for each other with our faith’s position on our union

but I did it today for her, bringing the kids back and being honest

about why I have stayed away for so long

I cannot speak to what will happen next sunday 

but at least my counter is down to zero

 

peace and happy easter

 

easter 2009

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s