762 days

fear surrounds those days, what if there is no acceptance

what if there is more homophobic comments or that I have lost my faith

some things have taken much longer than I would have thought to overcome

this was the second biggest hurdle I had

but in those many, many days I was denying a part of our existence

how we agreed to raise the kids, denying my own conversion

so anxious I couldn’t sleep last night 

in an unconscious attempt to sabotage myself from succeeding

no one to blame but myself

so I had to force myself to get dressed to face some of my last demons

I still have many questions about our faith and

how to reconcile our love for each other with our faith’s position on our union

but I did it today for her, bringing the kids back and being honest

about why I have stayed away for so long

I cannot speak to what will happen next sunday 

but at least my counter is down to zero


peace and happy easter


easter 2009

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