it’s really today

Valentine’s Day

a contrite holiday we really didn’t celebrate

though three years ago we were

packing for Miami and the boat of bliss

but really this sunday is the day

exactly now – 5pm in Miami

when I was on the phone with Jan B.

saying help me – they say I’m in an

“anti-gay city and state”

they had our legal papers and it didn’t matter

we waited, the kids and I in our matching outfits

in that tiny ugly old dirty waiting room

knowing in my soul that, today, 3yrs ago today

the day before Presidents’ day

would change my life more than any other

more than a birth or adoption or another


Today, 3yrs later – it’s Valentine’s day

the kids are blissfully unaware

no idea if they count days, months, anniversary’s like I do

I have to, it’s the only way to get

through – for me

so tomorrow on Presidents’ day at 10:45am – I will

be heading to UPS – the place of our beginning-

for writing class, at the moment

when my love lost her life, officially

thought the dates change by the year

and it’s ‘really’ the 19th but for me

it will always be Presidents’ day

Bought the kids Valentines goodies to distract myself

from the real truth of the day


2 thoughts on “it’s really today

  1. Jerry

    Jan, A beautiful entry, the song is perfect. Brought tears to my eyes and warmth to Lisa’s heart, I am sure Lisas’s heart is filled with pride. I am trying to take as good care of Lisa’s heart as I possibly can.

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